To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being a certain way, good or bad. ~Eckhart Tolle
We Have A Choice In How We Choose To Respond
Learning to live with no resistance is challenging to say the least. Yet, it’s a skill I intend to continue working towards mastering. Every single day, situations occur in our lives that trigger emotional responses. We have a choice in how we choose to respond. Our head is often the first in line in terms of reactivity, constantly advising us to close off our hearts, build highly reinforced walls, and protect from pain. Sabotage is typically the order of the day, as if we pull away from and damage relationships or situations ourselves, we no longer have to worry about pain at the hands of another.
Choosing Safety And Protection Over Love And Light
When we create resistance to the circumstances in our lives, those protective behaviors keep us from experiencing the grace, ease, and lightness that could so easily be our gifts. The very things we long for are often shuffled away by our own hand, as we choose safety and protection over love and light. I choose to turn away from the reactivity of the mind, and remain fully open, no matter the risk.
Our Hearts Carry The Voice We Should Be Heeding
Our hearts carry the inner voice we should be heeding. The heart beckons us to remain vulnerable and open. Even in discomfort and with risk of potential pain, the heart knows that to fully love and be in a state of ease, we must be laid bare and release perceptions and judgment, which are often finite, faulty, and solely credited to the protective mind.
It Is In Attachment That Fear Becomes Our Master
How does one go about remaining open and not closing off the heart, when fear of impending pain strikes swiftly? It is in attachment that fear becomes our master. The head is ruled by fear, the heart by love. In allowing ourselves to love unconditionally no matter what, while releasing any attachment to outcomes, we are able to engage the highest form of love and disengage the role of the fearful mind. The moment we judge good or bad, safe or risky, we conditionally tie our willingness to love to potential risk and outcomes. This produces nothing but discomfort, fear, and anxiety, which often precipitate damaging, reactive behaviors.
What Is Our Inner Dialog Saying?
It is in recognizing our inner dialog, whether coming from a place of fear (head) or love (heart), that we begin identifying what is ruling us. We can then begin implementing strategies to shift away from the protective mind, and to the always open and loving heart.
When The Heart Leads, The Mind Is Relaxed
In the book, “The Heartmath Solution,” we learn that when we allow our hearts to lead, our minds become more relaxed and anxiety actually decreases. It’s quite the opposite from what the fearful mind continually warns us. Our mind is constantly reinforcing false beliefs that cause us to want to remain in an isolated, protective mode.
Releasing Others From Responsibility
It is only through doing the deep, internal soul work, that we are led to a place of understanding that only we are responsible for our own happiness, contentment, and feelings of being complete. We can then release others from these responsibilities and any sense of attachment. In doing so, we allow ourselves to love fully, with hearts wide open, maintaining complete vulnerability, and releasing the fears that attend the belief others have a say in our happiness and outcomes. Others can certainly accompany us along our journey and add immeasurably to our quality of life, yet the choice of whether or not to be happy resides with us alone.
Are We Acting In Love, Or Reacting In Fear?
There are only 2 forces at work in this universe… love and a lack thereof. The next time we feel ourselves shutting down or closing off in the face of potential fears, we need to stop and ask, “Are we acting in love, or reacting in fear?” It’s important to recognize that when we truly act in unconditional love, with no attachments and no expectations, there is nothing we stand to lose and our heart can only expand. It is only when expectations fail, that we become disappointed, wounded, and pained. I choose unconditional love, and when fear does pop up from time to time, I choose to dismiss it and love unconditionally and fiercely anyway.
Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby