This has been an extremely difficult part of the journey for me. The truth is, living this level of intensity will devour any of us if we don’t surrender. I am what I am and nothing more, which is perfect imperfection and all that I need. The illusion that I need anything outside myself is what has held me, and so many others, prisoner. I am still learning surrender.
When we deal with, heal, and therefore quiet our inner wounds, we no longer “need” to soothe them with outside pursuits. When we fully surrender, we can then rightly love that which is outside, without “needing to” in order to pacify and appease our aching soul, as our soul is already at peace. This is perfectly surrendered, unconditional love, as we love by choice, not by need, and that love has no boundaries. It is only here the fires of passion and true intimacy can beautifully and fully consume us.
Until we do the inner soul work, we can never “fully” become our emotionally naked, authentic self, which is required for the vulnerability and depths of intimacy we were designed to experience. Our own inner surrender has to happen BEFORE we have the true ability to surrender anything external. We exhaust so much of our energy “trying to surrender” the external things, when the inside surrender has not yet been accomplished. This is one of the reasons the lessons keep coming around again and again. Focus on the internal first, then all else falls into place with grace and ease. Focus on the external first, the battles of the mind will ravage your heart, mind, and soul.
One of the greatest stories our ego often tells us is that the inner work is already done, that we have fully surrendered, and we are already completely emotionally naked and vulnerable. This is often not the case. If so, the fruits of that work will be visible. The mind will be quieted, the soul peaceful, the inner knowing, contentment, and confidence will shine from within as a bright beacon. One of the most difficult parts of our journey is being honest and fully objective with ourselves, as the conscious ego has an amazing way of convincing us we have completed the work that often has not yet even begun. Understandable, as its main role is that of protection from pain and discomfort, at any cost.
The mind alone cannot be trusted in the affairs of the soul. The consistency of the combination of our thoughts, actions, and reactivity (or lack thereof), always tell the tale with time. Do not be deceived by what the mind, in isolation, tries to convince us of. The fruits of internal surrender will be visible in all areas. It is only when we have learned the skill of internal surrender, that we can then surrender to the external things that are holding us captive and keeping us from experiencing life, love, and passion, as it was designed.
Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby
Also published on Medium.