We have to get better at how we treat other people. Lives matter. Words matter. Emotions matter and are valid, even when they’re not understood or agreed with. Most people are going through life simply protecting from further pain. Yet, when we encounter a less than stellar situation with another, how often do we really pursue the underlying pain of their perspective?
We only see what others allow us to see and we never really know all the devastation that has gone on in another’s life behind the scenes. There’s always more to a story than we know and have been made privy to. Even so, it’s far easier to cut losses when things get uncomfortable, than it is to do the work necessary to understand another. In our fast-moving society, that’s just not the easiest path of least resistance. As common slang would say, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Yet investing this time and effort is the very thing that builds the incredible depths of relationship most say they struggle to find.
Hurting people don’t always make the best decisions, as logic isn’t always present when pain is full throttle. More often it’s adrenaline driven and what seems necessary at the time to protect from further wounding. After all, that’s our conscious mind’s greatest role… doing whatever is necessary to protect us from discomfort. When we truly begin to understand that, not only does forgiveness become easier, but compassion blossoms and spills out onto the walking wounded, which in turn helps in the process of those souls healing.
What is needed is love, compassion, grace, understanding, and support. What they need to know is that there is someone out there, no matter what, that loves them and cares enough to engage them, even when they are not their most lovable. Unconditional love is so rare these days. The easiest thing to do is bail and walk away. Don’t be that person.
Seek to understand before judging. Even better, seek to understand and don’t judge at all. Every one of us has pain we are hiding from the world. Some are just better at hiding it than others. The right thing to do is love hard, ask questions, listen intently, & be there. Just that alone can make all the difference in the world to someone who feels lost, alone, and in pain. Most suffer in silence. We may not always be able to eliminate their pain, but we can at least ensure they are not alone as they walk through it. This often very dark world needs many more willing to be love, light, and the voice of compassion.
Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby