Monthly Archives: November 2016

65. Living In The Land Of Limbo

mirage-smallI’ve been living far too long in the land of limbo. Having emerged from my past, heart worn and tattered, yet surprisingly intact; it continues beating for this day alone, as today is all we have. My yesterdays are long gone, but my tomorrows are so far ahead in the distance they appear as a mirage, evaporating as I take each step closer. I suppose our tomorrows will always remain untouchable, looming in the distance as a yearning force to drive us forward. Yet without their call, leading me onward towards possibility and promise, I would likely sink into the dark abyss of oblivion. I am grateful for those impalpable longings, as they’ve brought me this far. They have instilled hope and have driven me to keep moving when one more step seemed irrelevant or impossible.

What I’ve learned is those mirages, the hopes, dreams, and goals we see in our distant future, are necessary to maintain our forward momentum. When we stop dreaming, we begin dying. However, our perceptions of yesterday and our thoughts and dreams of tomorrow were never designed to keep us from living in our present moment. We find ourselves in the land of limbo when we’re either trapped in our yesterdays, or grasping for our tomorrows, while oblivious to the beauty we inhabit in this very moment and the opportunities it unfolds.

I’ve spent far too many years disconnecting from my present. As I’ve relived the past in my mind and ached for a future that swept me away, my days have passed unlived and indiscriminate. That’s not living, it’s simply existing and it’s time for that to change. By staying in limbo, I’m robbing the world of the influence and interaction I was designed to fulfill. When I catch myself reminiscing in my past too fondly, or escaping  my present as I dream about my future and ache for my longings, I am learning to shift my awareness back to this moment and what I should be engaging in right now. Don’t misunderstand me… plans, goals, and dreams are necessary to move ahead and attain those things we need to accomplish. Escaping into our dreams, whether that of the past or the future, to avoid our present, is another thing entirely.

I’m committed to living fully in the present. By wholly engaging in this moment, I’m changing my trajectory. I’m collaborating with the awe I find myself surrounded by. I’m allowing myself to feel and experience everything, no matter what. I’m merging synergistically with the love, light, and energy of everything positive I encounter, and there’s a lot of it to see, now that I’m truly looking. My prayer for us all is to stay present, limit our time in limbo, and focus completely on what it is we are to engage in and accomplish this day alone. Today is all we have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow will always be in the future. It is the right now that we exist in, and we have a choice as to whether or not we will live it, or allow it to pass by unengaged. I am choosing to live fully and not miss another thing. Will you join me?

Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby

64. Before The Sun Goes Down

say-what-needs-to-be-saidI’ve learned so much in this last year about what limited time we have here and how important it is to speak our mind today, before the sun goes down, as tomorrow is promised to no one. More often than not, what we hear when someone of significance has been lost is regret for words not spoken, love not shown, opportunities not taken, and a world of unresolved feelings that will never have the opportunity to be fully expressed. This can be true whether someone has passed on, or is just no longer part of our lives.

I truly believe it’s often fear that keeps us from speaking our hearts to others. Fear shows itself in so many different ways. Often we are fearful of the unknown, of rejection, potentially being hurt, feelings not being reciprocated, how we might be perceived by another, and a whole host of other situations that often cause us to build walls of silence, rather than truly articulate our heart’s emotions and desires. Sometimes, it can be more of a situation where we just take things for granted and assume future opportunities will arise to say what should be said at this moment. Life is too precious and far too fleeting for these lapses in communication to occur.

We need to learn to speak our hearts daily. I have a firm belief. There is never a situation where speaking my heart in truth and love is not appropriate… EVER! There should be nothing we can’t discuss with one another, when done so in love and humility. I challenge us all to begin sharing what we’re feeling, even if it’s scary, even if it potentially may not be received or reciprocated as we might like, as that’s not what’s important. What is important is not ever missing an occasion to say what we may never have the chance to say again. It’s not only for our own benefit, but it may have a profound impact on the other person. It could be the very thing a hurting heart needs to hear when the challenges of life have left them bare and in desperate need of love and affirmation. Say it, whatever it is, TODAY!

I wrote this as a reminder to never let the sun go down on what remains unsaid…

Before The Sun Goes Down 

So much emotion left unsaid
By now, they ought to know
They’ve been around for long enough
I’m sure the feelings show
I said it once, quite long ago
And thought that should suffice
But now that they’re no longer here
I’ve started thinking twice
So many things I should have said
So much I could have shown
Acknowledging that special place
Where in my heart they’d grown
For everything they’d been to me
For all they’d walked me through
I realized in painful pride
That many more were due
To all those in my life today
Who’ve touched this tender heart
I vow that I’ll start sharing with you
Now’s the time to start
Before that chance is taken
And before the sun goes down
Let me tell you that I love you
And I’m glad that you’re around

Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby

63. Letting Go Of Expectation

expectationsThis past week has been all about letting go! Letting go of the past, letting go of pain, letting go of worry, and tonight, I think I am stopping on the topic of letting go of expectation. It seems the lessons have been fast and furious! So much so that I’m still in the process of chewing and digesting all that has transpired.

Have you ever had those times when it seems everything you’ve been working so hard towards just evaporates in front of you? Well, that’s been my week! I’m not someone who generally gets too embroiled in negativity or disappointment, but this week pretty much kicked my butt!

I’m in an incredibly transitional time in my life. I’ve been working hard, putting many changes into immediate action. I’m so ready to move into a new season in my life. I’ve created detailed plans, timelines, and have put tremendous effort into doing the work necessary to insure a smooth transition into what I felt certain was a new direction I was to be traveling in. Then, in a matter of days, several critical pieces just disintegrated.

I was definitely sad, and quite a bit more down than my usual perky self. Although I realized that life happens and often we have no control over things that transpire, I couldn’t seem to squelch this sense of loss and let down. My expectations were shattered.

We often set ourselves up for disappointment by holding on tightly to unrealistic expectations and particular outcomes. What’s an unrealistic expectation? Let’s just say it’s expecting anything we do not have control over. We do not have control over other people or circumstances… PERIOD. Anytime we have expectations tied to either of these, we are setting ourselves up for a potential let down. The more time and energy we put into these specific outcomes, the bigger our let down if something goes awry.

I spent an absurd amount of time being bummed out about particular circumstances not happening. I wondered what had gone wrong and why. I was so caught up in my disappointment and selfish pity party that I wasn’t recognizing there were other plans at work that were far more likely to be to my advantage. Yet, I had tunnel vision, seeing only those things I had envisioned, not the possibilities of even better potential conclusions.

There are a myriad of things that can and do interfere in our life’s plans at any given point, and they are usually working for our good. Being the finite individuals we are, it’s quite difficult for us to see beyond what effects us personally, and consider what else could be happening in the realms beyond, outside our circle of immediate influence, that might turn out even better.

Disappointment stems from things not working out as we expected and hoped. Hope is a great thing to have, yet expectation that things will transpire in a particular way can be a total disaster. It can take on a life of its own if we are not conscious of the negative influence in play.

Much of what I have been writing about in the last week has been revolving around letting go and living in the present. It’s becoming quite evident we do not have control over the things we might like. Living in the present means focusing our thoughts, intentions, and love on what we can be doing right now. Expectations can often throw a monkey wrench into that frame of mind, as they lead us to think expectantly and specifically about things to come… the future. While having hopes and goals are not a bad thing, specific expectations kind of take on a deeper, more complicated role.

Here’s an example: We may have a goal of owning our own house, but our expectation might be to get a particular promotion at work in order to pay for that house. When the promotion doesn’t come through, we are devastated, as we put all our energy into that expectation. In essence, it may have been God’s plan to bring you that house through another method, rather than that particular promotion. This is simply one example, but I think you get my point. Having goals and hope about our future is fine. Holding on hard and fast to specific outcomes and the expectations and methods that are attached to those, quite often brings unnecessary heartache.

I’m not going to say I don’t struggle with this concept, as obviously just finished talking about this week for goodness sake, and I was definitely disappointed, for while anyway! But you know, it’s in taking a step back and looking at these situations in far more depth that is allowing me to realize I put way too much stock in the past and future, and not nearly enough in this very moment.

I think my lesson for the day is to be content with hope and my goals, but trust that what is coming to me will arrive via the best method possible, and it’s not my job to figure out how! Otherwise, I get caught in micromanaging my life and I run the risk of getting in the way of far better things that could develop. My job is to simply be grateful for all I have and what’s coming. The rest isn’t really up to me, and the sooner I start acting in accordance with that knowledge, the better!

So what’s my strategy? Having goals for my future, but staying focused on the RIGHT NOW! Living in gratitude for this very moment and paying attention to the things I need to be doing today. That’s the best use of my time. Doing what’s at hand, being grateful, and letting go of the need to control what comes to me, when, and how it arrives, which is none of my business. I need to learn to curb my expectations to this extent:

I expect what is best for me is on its way, and I trust the method in which it will arrive is for my highest and best good!

Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby

62. Time And Depth

time-and-depthOh that someone could hear the music in my head, the melody that walks along side the words I write. How I wish I could convey the depths that I’ve been taken to, the language of which seems to be foreign and misunderstood. What I would give to somehow articulate the bliss that’s found at the end of each difficult fork in the road, as so many stop before ever reaching it. Though I dislike difficulty, I’ve also learned to appreciate the struggle and what comes as a reward if I continue on. It’s a love-hate relationship in so many ways, but growth always comes at a price, a price I have found is well worth paying. How I crave camaraderie, understanding, and most of all meaning, as emptiness seems to abound in this microwave world I’ve found myself in. Where are those who reach for more, who intuitively seek below the surface to find the true answers that only time and depth reveal? Is this a solitary journey, or will others eventually appear, as lost family, reuniting after a long separation, who get me and know my soul? Do we not all long to be known and understood, even if just by one? I suppose time and depth will expose those answers as well, so I move forward in my journey, hopeful they are soon in coming.

Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby

 

61. Following Our Intuition

intuitionAs I continue along in my journey, I am realizing more and more that I need to pay closer attention to my intuition and not disregard it. Many times I get this intuitive knot in my stomach, alerting me that something is not quite right. I may not always know why or what is not right, but there is definitely something or someone amiss and I need to stop whatever I’m doing, until I have the information necessary to make a decision on how to proceed. Hindsight has proven to me that this intuition, this gut feeling, is a warning system, telling me to stop, investigate and if I proceed, do so with much caution. Manipulators in this world abound, and often those who are the best manipulators are the ones we least expect, and that goes for spiritual as well as other manipulators.

I’m once again faced with the reality that all things must be tested. There are some in my life that I have looked up to as trusted friends, as well as spiritual teachers, who I’m now finding are not what they have seemed. I think we all run across this at many times in our lives, as we are let down by the humanity of those we love. This is different though. This is not just disappointment in being let down, this is a realization that there are some who masquerade as light, but behind that mask, there is great darkness, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, if you will, that is not always easily identifiable and most definitely not for our highest good.

No matter how educated, charming, eloquent, knowledgeable, skilled and respected someone may be, ALL MEN ARE FALLIBLE. There are no exceptions. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 to, “Test everything and hold on to what is good.” When most of us hear truth, we have an indicative feeling inside that says, “Yes, that’s sounds correct, that sounds like truth.” This is a wonderful thing, yet what happens to that when we hear a partial truth? What happens when someone knowingly manipulates truth, so there is a core of truth being spoken, yet there is a wonky twist within that causes it to take on a whole different, but subtle change in meaning? Partial truth is one of the biggest snares affecting us today, and there is tons of it out there. When we hear partial truth, many will get that internal check that yes, this does sound right, because there actually is some truth being spoken. However, we often will not pick up on the remaining lie that is woven in and hidden within the truth, or sometimes we will get that check, but there remains a feeling that something is not quite right, but we really can’t place our finger on it.

Master manipulators are very powerful and highly skilled at making us feel less than, inadequate, guilty, or less skilled and knowledgeable than they are, which sets them in the prime position to take on the role of leader and teacher (or manipulator). A classic line from a manipulator goes something like this, “Oh you poor thing. You just don’t understand these ideas yet, but one day you will. You just haven’t reached my level of knowledge yet, but you’re doing great! Keep on the right path and you will get there.” They often require total trust, as they place themselves in the seat of truth and request those being taught should not look elsewhere, as what’s outside is false. Anyone who denies you the ability to question them should immediately be suspect in your mind. Let me be clear… TRUTH HAS BEEN GIVEN AND MADE ACCESSIBLE TO US ALL, NOT ONLY JUST A SELECT FEW. The key here is that truth is not just dropped into our laps. To find truth we have to seek, ask, read, study, and constantly pursue it.

Crafty manipulators are proficient in making it all too easy to just believe them, because they have already done all the study, therefore it’s not really necessary for you to do so again. Why reinvent the wheel, right? WRONG! In a fast-food, microwave society where we have a tendency to just want to order up whatever our hearts desire, doing the work to find truth doesn’t always sound that appealing, as it’s hard work. It would be so much easier to just let someone else do the dirty work and we can skate by on their coat tails. However, the hidden risk in these pursuits is far greater than most are willing to pay. If you listen carefully, master manipulators have a tendency to contradict themselves and are very adept at incredibly fast back-peddling when questioned on a contradiction. It’s always much easier to take the light off themselves by shifting the onus onto others and never really answering the direct questions.

So what is it I am trying to say here? Well, let’s boil it down to a couple of thoughts:

  • Don’t ignore our intuition. When we have a knot in our stomach signaling something or someone is not right, LISTEN TO IT AND RESPOND ACCORDINGLY!
  • We are responsible for finding truth for ourselves. Yes, others can help guide that journey, but we had better do our homework and check out what they are suggesting, as they may very well be seriously deceived themselves. In the end, it doesn’t matter who told us what, it’s OUR responsibility to test everything and arrive at our own conclusions.
  • Keep an open mind. Quite often, our environment, belief system and upbringing can play a role in keeping us locked in a manipulation. Honestly and earnestly seeking TRUTH will lead you to the answers you need. Just don’t be surprised if they appear in places you did not expect to find them.
  • Be aware there is darkness masquerading as light. Don’t be surprised to find some you may love and deeply respect are deceived and a part of the manipulation. Identifying these individuals doesn’t always mean completely cutting all ties either. Sometimes it does mean severing ties if the influence is too great or damaging, but often it can also be as simple as agreeing to disagree and recognizing we need to shield ourselves from their deceptive influences.

At the end of the day, the call is for us to be on our toes, discerning in spirit, and constantly testing all things to determine truth. I hope that helps you in your journey forward!

Love and Light,
Laura Lum Corby