Daily Archives: September 8, 2016

32. It’s OK To Not Be OK!

not-be-okWe all face times of great difficulty. It’s not a problem to experience a down time. It’s part of the journey and often what leads us to new levels of awareness, that then lead to growth. Where we get into trouble is choosing to park there, settle in, and permanently take up residence. We all walk through darkness at times. The key is to keep walking!

This has been an incredibly challenging week for me. Even in the midst of some of the most tremendous growth I’ve ever experienced over the last few months, I’ve also seen some of the greatest difficulties I’ve ever known. As a practitioner, there’s often that internal voice, calling me to set the example, get back up again, brush off the dust, and get back on that darn horse! While that’s certainly something that must be eventually considered, there’s also something to be said for allowing ourselves to fully acknowledge, feel, and embrace the not so great times, so we can release and heal from them as well. The current psychobabble is all about being positive, focusing on just the good, giving no place to anything negative, and just making up our minds to not allow this to get us down, so we can move forward. Let’s be real though, that’s not always what the doctor ordered. The reality of the situation is there is a time and place to acknowledge and sit with our pain. It’s actually a very important step in the healing process, that often gets skipped by the positive only crowd. That time and place varies with everyone. There is no established norm set, that if we remain longer than a certain amount of time, we are then considered negligent and wallowing in our pity! Having said that, the amount of time is a very individualized thing that must be taken into account as we continually keep ourselves in check. There’s a vast difference between observing and allowing our difficulties to teach us, and giving up to the role of victimization, where there is no longer any desire to continue moving forward.

Today I was gently reminded that setting the example isn’t about never struggling, that’s ego speaking. What it’s really about is being authentic. Saying what I actually feel, meaning what I say, and bringing truth and reality to whatever is happening in my life at any given moment. The only time I’m in a wrong space, is when I choose to stay present with the pain beyond the time of learning, and when I am no longer able to balance it with the good I also have surrounding me. As long as I’m mindful of the boundaries, I’m choosing to look at both the pain and the good in my life, and I’m learning and growing from both, then I’m in a good space.

We all experience difficult times, there are no exceptions to that rule. To pretend everything is coming up roses when our hearts are hurting is anything but genuine. By truly acknowledging and embracing not only our pain, but the reality that we may not have, nor do we need all the answers at this particular moment, we give ourselves permission to just be present and be perfectly OK with not being OK. The amount of stress that alone removes from our lives is monumental. Contrary to popular belief, no one has it all together. No one! We are all here learning as we journey through this lifetime. Let’s support one another as we each experience our struggles. Rather than comparing or judging, let’s encourage and remind one another that it’s perfectly normal and even expected at times to not be OK. Fighting those feelings and desperately seeking resolution to end our discomfort, typically just intensifies the discomfort. There’s a time to just let it be. As I sit in my discomfort tonight, I’m reminded I’m not alone, this is definitely temporary, and there’s always a calm that comes after every storm. So I’m battening down the hatches, waiting for the storm to subside, and looking forward to the sun and warmth shining down on me again in the very near future!

Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby