Unresolved Issues Breed Bitterness
Have you ever noticed those who have been greatly hurt by something in the past, something they just can’t seem to let go of, grow angry and more bitter with time? Even in moments within their lives that should be enjoyable and happy, there seems to be a black cloud of gloom that follows them wherever they go. That black cloud doesn’t always bring storms with fierce winds, thunder and lightning, but it almost always hides the warmth and light of the sun. When others come along and encounter these grieving souls, they may be happy and shining brightly for all to see when they arrive, but their light is soon dimmed, if not extinguished, by the heavy pall being continually cast.
It reminds me of those who were thrown into dungeons at the turn of the century. After many years in captivity, the prisoners grew accustomed to the damp, darker environment and the cold that often accompanied it. They also became less sensitive to the little things, like a rat, that might have otherwise startled them or made them scream and run just a few years prior.
Likewise, when a heart is shielded from warmth, love, and light, it can easily become hardened, desensitized, and completely unaware of the dire circumstances in which it currently exists. Our bodies were designed to acclimate to our conditions, yet this kind of acclimation is in no way healthy or beneficial. There have been so many periods of time in my growth, where hindsight allowed me to see I had been hardened regarding a particular issue I was unable to release, yet my conscious mind was determined to bury it and forget that pain. I suppose it’s a level of self-preservation (AKA – Denial!) we all experience at times. The funny thing about buried emotions is they always tend to rise to the surface in due time, and often at the worst possible times, and when we least expect them. They do, however, ALWAYS RISE. Sometimes that rise comes in the form of depression and isolation, lack of trust, an overly guarded & hardened heart, or even sickness. Often it rises in the form of fear, grief, anger, and even rage.
We Already Hold The Prison Key
There’s something powerful about acknowledging and verbalizing our pains, whether it be vocally, in writing, in song, or any other format. Acknowledging, naming, accepting, and then releasing those hurts, pain, anger, fears, and other feelings that cause us to want to move inward in a protective sense, can be freeing and life-changing in a way many can’t imagine. For so many the fear of additional discomfort and pain will continue to keep them riddled in a dungeon of darkness and cold, of their own making. So few realize they actually hold the key to their locked cell, yet they aren’t even aware they have it, let alone how incredibly close they are to freedom, warmth and light!
I’ve made a pact with myself of late. A pact of honesty, of realism, and of transparency. I’m no longer allowing myself to bury feelings, no matter how painful. Rather, I’ve decided to not let the sun go down on my anger or despair. When something is bothering me, I now feel the need to get it out on the table as quickly as possible, so it might be dealt with, released, and I can then move on and put it behind me. It’s not the easiest habit to put in place, as it often seems much safer to just ignore what’s bothering me and act like everything is fine, yet I know that comes at a price.
Being True To Ourselves
Our current culture has inspired a very unhealthy notion that says those who are strong are not bothered by anything. Those who are emotional are weak. This simply is NOT TRUTH! It takes much more strength and courage to freely and truthfully come forth with our beliefs, thoughts, ideas, vulnerabilities, and feelings on any issue, than it does to bury them in a steam cooker that will eventually blow when the pressure is greater than it can bear. Being true to ourselves, regardless of what others think, is a lifestyle I’m learning to love and embrace more and more each day. Being authentic means honoring my feelings, both the good and the not so great! Expression of feeling allows us to truly release any negative energy that may be associated with a particular circumstance or emotion. Holding on to that negative energy and stuffing it deep down inside only creates pressure, problems, and eventually sickness. You’ve been given your “get out of jail free” card. YOU hold the keys to your cell and you always have. This is the time to let yourself out, to wander once again back into the warmth and light! Are you ready?
Love & Light,
Laura Lum Corby